While I was creating this post, it was sitting in drafts for too long and I found someone meanwhile expressed this better than I was going to. I decided to junk it, but then noticed that not many other people are picking it up. I think at the risk of redundancy, this is a thought worth repeating in many fora. Somehow parents don’t teach this to the kids, schools don’t, managers in the organization don’t and so on. I thought maybe an Indianised version of the same principle will make a better impression to many.
A fundamental social phenomena is the law of reciprocity. In short, people feel obliged to return a favor. It is not a law in the strict sense but simply a strongly observed social behavior. More often than not, people will respond to your being nice to them and if you go out of the usual way to help someone, they will remember it for a long time and when the time comes they will return the favor. I also call this the Godfather Law – Don Corleone’s biggest asset was giving away favors to many people and then calling up at the right time.
Now remember your hostel mates. You probably know the color of underwear they prefered (a loose english equivalent of the original langotiya or chaddi yaar). Imagine that after 10 years you are managing sales for a consumer goods company. Today if anyone of your former mates is trying to get an introduction to your marketing department, who is more likely to get a favor from you – the one who refused to lend you his bicycle or the one who gave you his new bike so you could impress your girlfriend. Hypothetical example but you get the point.
Everyone knows by now that starting out is not about the idea but about execution. Execution obviously can’t be summarized in one line but so much of it depends on your access to the right set of people and even more importantly your ability to call upon them for a small favor. This is what going to a good school gets you – people from good schools get to good places and since they have had help from their alumni, they help other alumni when possible. This is a variant of the law of reciprocity which moves the favor forward in a chain. However, the real big favors come from people you have had personal interaction with and had the fortune to do something good – maybe remove a road block, solve a small problem, just create a pleasant experience in this often not so pleasant world! Anything goes, as long as it helped create a favorable impression about you. If over the last 10 years, you had the fortune to win over 500 people it is an enormous social capital you have. A bootstrapper with little financial capital will bless his stars for this. This value is often accounted in businesses as goodwill. Think of yourself as starting with a positive balance sheet on day one of starting out.
If you are convinced (or trust me) that being nice pays, it is easy to think right now that what a unholy lesson – being nice for selfish reason seems so … ’selfish’. And wasn’t that the first thing about being nice – ‘don’t be selfish’. In reality being selfish is one of the cornerstone of free, capitalistic society. I kind of like the fact that a free, capitalistic society will actually be a nice place to live if everyone follows the be nice credo, even if for selfish reasons. This nicely extends the invisible hand, that Adam Smith talked about in the classic of economics – wealth of nations.
It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own self interest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.
Relying on people’s selfish interest does seem more sensible to me too than relying on their benevolence.
The irony of the situation is though that if you are not genuinely nice to other people they will see through you sooner than later. So don’t confuse being nice with just behaving nicely. Most importantly don’t be a fake. In which case you better be a mean entrepreneur which will also work as long as you are making something people want. At least people won’t think you are mean and fake! Its only that it would be so much easier being nice.
The only way to be nice is to make it a habit. If you are only behaving nicely and it mostly depends whom are you interacting with – either you will slip many-a-times or you will loose so many opportunities to increase your social capital. You can never really predict how the future will play out and what the people you are dealing with today will be doing after say 5 years. Mostly as a bootstrapper you never know what turn your business will take and whom will you need to call on one day. Wouldn’t the mess boy in your college you didn’t care about who has become a maharaj today be an ideal resource to tap into for supplying manpower for your catering business? Or maybe he would be a person who could give you access to that remote eastern UP village for the bottom of the pyramid business you just cooked up.
Being nice is the most important favor a bootstrapper can do to himself (I am yet to meet aspiring women bootstrappers, will they please come out!). Although everyone can benefit but the reason it appeals to bootstrappers most is because it is free. Really, doesn’t cost to be nice. You do have a choice though; bootstrapping is difficult in many ways, make it easy with whatever straw you can grab.